I am on my way back home....from Dubai to Accra...after learning some hard lessons....but maybe like Psalmist David, I can say 'it was good for me that I suffered.' Yes, money has been spent which I wish were used for something else, but I guess some great lessons just need to be paid for. I can't say I fully comprehend yet, all the good that has happened out of 'this bad situation' but Lord, I bless Your Name, and I pray that all that You want me to do with these experiences and lessons will be done in Jesus' Name. Amen.

I just came back to my seat from the washroom...I met it in a not-so-good state but I think I left it better. :)...Travel stories along some routes on some days; there's sometimes no space in the overhead lockers for others because some don't travel light :)....almost every food and drink item on the plane gets used up because we eat and drink everything that is passed around, and make all kinds of requests! :)....and the washroom is sometimes a mess...:)

While slightly cleaning up the washroom, I thought about the 'bold' statement above ie 'leave it better than you met it'. Whatever the state of anything we meet or inherit, we should make it better for the next person and leave a better legacy. Yesterday I spent sometime reading about Chinese mothers and wanted to find out a bit about their motherhood styles, because I realize they do very well in passing down valuable traditions (like language) and good ethics (like hard work) to their children, no matter which place on earth they find themselves living! The stuff I read also mentioned a bit about their flaws in this area, example, sometimes they never praise children and put too much pressure on them to excel to keep the family name (especially parents who have only one child) ....but hey, I have already resolved that whatever is good needs to be learnt and passed on, and whatever is bad should be left behind! That's the way to go! :) Bottom line is that we should constantly evaluate ourselves and note down the things we have (education, ethics, language, etc) and resolve to pass on more than what we have to the next generation. Most of us agree with what I have just written, however, the challenge is that we mostly think of 'what we have' in terms of material things. 

Most of us say we want a 'better life' for our children, but sadly what most of us mean by that is some lands for them to inherit, or a built-apartment for them before they marry, or an investment package of some sort, or many other 'good' stuff. All these are good, but what would fall in the category of 'better' or 'best'? Jesus said to Martha, 'you are worried and troubled about many things, but Mary has chosen the better part, and it will not be taken away from her'. What are some examples of 'better' and 'best' things that we could leave for the next generation? 

Looking back at my life, I see my parents gave me more than they had...and that said, I don't mean money or possessions at all. I realize that experiences are very essential for children, and we will do well to give our children as many varied experiences as possible. At one Parents' Meeting at Nouvel Community Academy, we learnt that a person's personality / career / profession is a sum total of all the experiences that person has in his/her lifetime. Though this was a meeting at a school, the emphasis was not on learning / academic experiences alone. My siblings often recount amazing experiences from their growing-up years; and I make reference to their experiences and not mine because they are much older than I am and saw more than I did in those years. My brother, Fo Imma, often refers to times when - (they/we)..(depending on which year it was, I may or may not have been present because I am the last-baby by about 7 years!) - the family went to the Logos Hope ship (whenever it docked in Ghana)  to buy books. Papa and Mama love books and never stopped book-shopping. No wonder most of us (their children) love reading to date. Fo Imma also mentions times when we (they) visited the airport just to watch planes that were arriving and departing...(in those days, the Kotoka International Airport was 'more open' than it is today; we could go in and have meals and watch planes at leisure. 

Some experiences are priceless and leave indelible marks on young minds. In being intentional in our parenting, those are the kind of experiences we should strive getting for our children. God is not calling us to do anything that is impossible, but as I mentioned, we should offer the next generation more to explore, than we have gotten. The world is huge, and we need to carefully craft out which experiences (and the best timing for that exposure) that our children would need. I am watching a documentary on 'Batkid Begins' on today's flight: a moving documentary about the day San Francisco transformed into Gotham City to fulfill the wish of a boy with Leukemia. When the 'Make A Wish Foundation' appealed for help with the task online, they were met by an unprecedented outpouring of goodwill from strangers who came together to give a little boy the most amazing day of his life.

The fact is, we don't always have to wait for our children to be sick or dying to give them amazing days...everyday can be amazing if we're intentional about it. It's easy to fall into 'auto-pilot' mode when it comes to parenting, especially considering that we're mostly busy and have our hands full with other things, but hey, the growing-up years are not as long as they seem, and the opportunity for a certain-level of impact can only be achieved within a certain window. In my lifetime, I've seen my nieces & nephews as babies, and now 16-years-plus. Some are in SHS/Uni and only come home for vacation.  Being a teenagers/young adults now, things are not the same anymore, with respect to experiences. For example, the 'wow' of a four-year old on a ship, an airplane or in a zoo can never be replicated when that same person is a teenager. By teenage years, we lose most of our 'wonder of the world' and have already been shaped by the experiences of previous years. Older mothers often say, 'the time to enjoy your children is now' (when they are babies, toddlers, pre-schoolers, or simply little children). One mother puts it this way: the days are long but the years are few. If there's anything meaningful and life-impacting that we want to do for our children, the time for action is NOW. So help us, God.

What do we have in our hands, and how do we plan to carefully craft and pass that on? I often say we shouldn't blindly throw away everything that has to do with our culture and traditions in the name of 'moving on' and making our children 'global citizens'. For instance I think it's 'someway' to let our children learn French, English and Spanish languages only, and no Ghanaian language at all (this is to Ghanaian parents who can speak one or more local dialects), in the name of raising 'international children'. Actually, recent research results show that children who speak a local language as a first language at home, pick up second languages better (i.e. If it's English being taught in school, pre-schoolers pick it up faster and are able to relate items better in both languages) The good things about our culture need to be preserved; I agree that there are some practices and customs that need to be questioned, as they were done in ignorance, but there still remains a lot that are helpful and should be passed on to the next generation. Language is important and gives us an identity.  I thank God for my parents: they passed on two local languages to me (Ewe and Ga), and it was an intentional process. I picked up Twi in school, and being literate in three Ghanaian languages places me in advantageous positions most of the time. I even wish I could speak some more dialects. Depending on where I am, I chose the language to speak. :)

Just as we have career, marriage, academic, marriage, financial and spiritual goals, I believe God is raising a generation of people who intentionally map out Parenting Goals, and execute them as He grants grace, insight and strength. We know (or should know) our children and what their interest and inclinations are, and must do well to expose them to lots of things in that area. For instance, if your daughter dreams of being an air hostess, you should give her the opportunity to get on an airplane at one time. Now this is not about being rich and going beyond our means. If we make it a goal to give such a little girl an opportunity to fly from Accra to Kumasi for instance, we can easily save towards that. Working intentionally with the 'little' God has placed in our hands, we can achieve lots of great strides!

As I type this out, I wonder what it takes to be an author. :) What does it take to publish a book? Our children need to know the answers to such questions and we can help that process through television programs and online videos (carefully chosen) even if we don't know the answers ourselves. ICT offers our generation so much more, and we need to use all the tools and skills available to make the next generation better, through God's rich Grace. 

Selah.